The moment I touched your hands, everything turned cold and meaningless. You laid so still as if you were in a deep sleep. Although the tears poured down like rain from faces of love ones, nothing could be done. You left with such willingness, and the pain immediately stopped just as how rain would. Like a blink of an eye, the guilt built up deep in this weary heart. To be strong for others, to have lost all hope of not seeing you today, tomorrow, not even till I'm married, made me feel so much sorrow. The older you got, the less I came to visit. Crushed to see you not breathing, confused for the others not able to see you before you took your last breath. It all seems endless, with everyone wished to spent more time with you, to eat, laugh and pray with you. How many regretted not saying the words that they meant to say, that they were sorry for anything that was said, done and forgotten. The birthday parties, Christmas loving, harvest festival will not be the same without you there to welcome us with open arms. The small shop will be meaningless without you there, sitting on your lazy chair and watching your favourite dramas on tv. Things would not be the same for us...It would not be same for me....who very much enjoys your company. I mish you and as we are praying for your safety to paradise, that you display the same kindness on us all too....thank you for all the sweet memories and the treasured time you had spent with us, and most of all...with me. Love your grandaughter.

A kid named Chester: Wonder Boy

There I was minding my own business when the little boy came hand in hand with his 28year old female cousin. He had his yellow hood over his head, quiet as a mouse and only speaking in whispers. Little did I know, he was at the age where he was still learning to talk properly and was a very, very active child. It occurred to me that it has been a long time since made close contact with such a young child, probably in his toddler years of 2 or 3 years. He wasn't the kind that was the extremely cutest boy you've seen, nor did his face showed any prettiness about it. It was more to the part where he was adorable to the point where you just couldn't leave him be and be playing by himself. That was justice at all. Even if part of me did not want to get involved in any of the discussions held that night, as it was my aunt's wedding planning and stuff, I couldn't help but to be drawn to this adorable boy. His laugh was totally cute, husky in a way and he got bored really fast. Hmm... at the same time, if a game we played made him laugh the 1st time, he'd want to do it over and over again. Then it brought me to the conclusion that I do mish my old job back in Brunei, where I could teach and play with the young kids to the extend that I become a kid myself as well. That was FUN!! I did not feel a day old when there were at least 20 kids running around and having fun, even though there were quarrels over whose toys was the best or rather it were blocks or stuffed toys belonged in which box. It was the relationship spent together and that night, I felt it with little Chester. He brought me to think that I was still capable of being myself, even if the world did not care who I was or what the hell I was doing at my aunt's place, or whether the BBQ smelled awfully good. It was that wonder boy that really made my day...and I will cherish that moment.

I mish my childhood days....the same ones that Little Chester is experiencing right now...I mish that *sigh*

Its the simple words that has the mind
fragments messed up and
perhaps has made one dillusional
on the petty things we want
from each other.
Yes, we tend to say things when
we're waiting
and waiting,
and waiting some more.
Still we get this
dead silence for waiting that long.
*.............................................................................................*
The person at fault never admits
what one has to say,
sadness that I
too am speechless on what
I have to say.
Rather, I let the other
hold on to the hope too long
and one has grown tired
of my foolish antics
and words.
I rather one to move on,
and whatever the feeling of regret
be put aside and
just us to remain as comrades in this lifetime.
After all,
the words not displayed clearly
can lead to further assumptions.
So to not waste anymore
time of men,
let us be off with this
accusations and move on with life.
Even if you're ready
to move on and say your last goodbyes..
I will still be waiting
with open arms,
my deah, deah, friend.


Till next time, Ja mata ne!!

*chargers to whip up a fluffy cream-o. Artist inspired by Yebster, Will-I-am and Boonch (^^,) *

• Sappy songs will make you feel you're somebody..a person (of course) with loads of value then you end up actually wanting to be a singer.. Hysterically funny there as it was that few lines that made you think bout all the nonsense you had put up with for the last 20 years.
• After a while the words sink in..all those lines of script of music, the way that male singer sings bout how he dreams to go to Califonia to catch the girl's eye. And if that fails, he'll just drive to the sunset and catch a wave, singing his heart out as no one knows his name. Did you forget..that perhaps the cute, high key notes of the piano is setting you in the mood to feel this way? A little light headed?
• There she sings of flowers to be brought to her and looks forward to the touch of her love one. Expresses her inner thoughts, she likes how he makes her feel..listening to him talk..on and on. Then she loves to watch him sleep, as she's happy as a child just being captivated from his smile; deeply he sleeps. She closes her eyes just to dream for miles..