physically drained out from all the bickering
the anguish in people's mind
and most of all,
the consistency of the life
that I'm living in

believe me
when I say that it is
and will forever will be
the people that I've met throughout
these 4 and a half years that has kept me going
with this "almost-perfect-on-the-surface" job
it is just to bad that
I couldn't be their reason to stay
long and perhaps rot with me in this
crazy passion for coffee and its
darn history

of all the things
that I've experienced today
and the past few weeks, months and days
everything has been falling apart

friends come and go
like the breeze that chooses to come
only through it's bidding
mostly friends who are forced
to choose their own destiny
and find themselves some freedom
at last, the lucky buggers

the heartache
to where he must go
and I cannot follow, and sulking
by my own person just to feel sane enough
to live through another day of agony
and more heartache

i want to feel
hopeful and faithful
but yet, i feel more slut-tatious
and end up being a bad person
Go figure!!

Times sure have changed for most people.

The things that were once good and pure in the past,

have turned dull and less exciting than the present.

I've come to realize that coming out

and being honest in a way that it does have its advantages.

The secretive mode has hit one on the head

and you'd wake up to smell the sunshine once again.

It is difficult to look in the eye of the friend who thought it was a good idea to rat out on his peers. At lost of words, sitting there.

Change,

how do we change a leopard's spots? The thing that eats us whole and leaves us boneless to the extent that we do cover up the remnants somewhere, where it is impossible to find. Then again, if just one scientist, A scientist...were to discover that a particular leopard actually changed it's spots the moment it hits 4 years of age and that would be the discovery for mankind. It would even mean the possibility for man to change his ways, to the better. FIN