Her Life so far...

Over a month and thinking this is glamourous with a tinkle of stardom but I am on the road of finding myself...once more. Spend all those fancy years in a Coffee House, almost 6 years then venturing on to an Aviation industry. That didn't go according to plan, as I always thought life was better outside your comfort zone. I did learn in fact that Life gets more spicier each time you move forward.

No doubt that I do have some anxiety as to where I am leading myself into. Yes, a mid-life crisis although I am still in the late 20's and yet I am feeling this way. 

The plan was to quit the aviation job and be a jazz performer ~ that also means full time quality time at home. At the given rate, I am quite stuck to 1) Losing the weight so that I am able to fit in a long gown and not look like a freaking whale. 2) To fulfill my promise that I made to my older sister about teaming up to make this MLM work and earn some cash 3) To pay the debts off (a never ending story) 4) To actually learn songs and 5) Sustain and prolong this voice box at least for 2-3 sets per gig. 

I have often thought about just going back to my old job but things have been going off the scale with friends losing their job for being dishonest, the others because the company has gone all anal just for small boo boos made. The both jobs which I thought were dream jobs turned out to be a loss in my eyes. I have lost all words to how my life would turn out, lost as to what I believe was a success is now all grey from my vision. 

It gets hot and humid nowadays, rainy on most evenings. Posting of pictures on Instagram when I feel like it, dropping messages to people on facebook when actually I do not want to meet them, and getting frustrated when I don't get a puff or two. GAWSH!!!! It burns just seeing people making it and mostly getting hitched....but this is not me. I usually just glance once and get all happy about it and I do want to succeed in getting there. I can say that I am a worry wart, contemplating about the future and no doubt do not want to meet most people because I dare say that I am just not up to telling them what has been going on with this life when there's NOTHING to talk about. It is not the same as to when you message and talking face to face on what the real situation is presenting itself...on your plate. 

Even with this chest pain on my right, I am determined to not blog this way....ever....it will turn out differently...