Gosh! Its almost christmas and im dead broke..haha. *SIGH* Somehow i always end up being extra tired after a day's work. But then again im the krazi cat...still goin to the my store (as in..my workplace) even on my off day..jz to chill and relax. Back in the days and memories where i could wake up jz a lil' late and still be in time for work...MAN! Those were the good ole' times *SIGH*

Nehoots...i kinda left the 'so-called' bf hanging because i don't know how to tell him that my feelings have been totally wiped out of my heart and brain. I don't even think bout him AT ALL!! How naive can one get? GOSH! Malas i nak layan dah...i guess i wasted those 3 damn years liking him and end up..only NOW he feels me...Sheessh! I don't get guys sometimes...they drive me nuts!! hehe...im just speakin in general.. ;p BLEH!

Speaking of 'some guys'...i think im losing it...as in..my heart to someone else.. BUT (pls note the big BUT) He's gonna be bonded w/ his long time gf...and it will very much hurt me so badly that im not sure i am allowed to look at him the same way. Hurting so much inside..im sure my heart will break :'( Help me God...im really into him...but i know i cannot intefere and try to break up the pair...it wouldn't be fair.

It sure ISN'T FAIR on my part...because when im with him...it becomes pretty weird just bringing up the subject bout him getting engaged! i try to joke about it when we're together but as the days go by each time...my heart gets heavier and i know one of these days i will soon break down and cry. Maybe this heart has so much feelings for him...im going insane...God hear me....i don't want him to go....Boohoohoo...sob...sob...sob.

To be continued..... :'(