Amazingly..during the raya season..I tried my luck in just text msg via phone to greet him and funny how things turned out....he msged me back. After a long while...I wasn't sure to forgive him or just act normal to his msg. *sigh* He seemed so distant...more into going in depth to reach his dream..to reach Japan ASAP. With a next target to jump on a plane next month, he invited me to go...but it seems far fetched. The language is not difficult but he speaks fluent Japanese...where as Im barely in the beginner's class....studying till midnyte's oil run dry. Mine is more of a jump on a speedy boat, go the nearest island and just live there...something like that. Avoiding me, or perhaps too busy with gurls from his hometown...or maybe just busy going round borneo...like a tourist. I have no idea what his next plan is or whether he'll actually make it to Japan....its like a dream...
Mysterious yet determined fellow....deah deah Casa Kun (**,)

Its those moments where you know won't happen for another life time.
As you try so hard to search deeper
and
forcing your mind to remember all the things that occured,
somehow just makes you make up all the things
that are actually not the same to the
original picture.
Makes one frightful,
stupid, loved but then again..
it isn't the truth at all.

If the waves crashing onto those big boulders,
would it be the same to imagine it as if it were somewhat soft..
just like cotton..or a stuffed pillow
with feathers
Then again.....
whoever heard of a fluffy pillow by the side of the beach

*sigh*

The sight of you makes me weak
Fluttery feeling in my stomach
A big gulp down my throat
Hands gone clammy
My cheeks blush with excitement
And yet...
I don't think we can ever have a thing for each other

Just to observe one's grace at work
Can just be enough for one's satisfaction
An unseen harmless giggle
Could almost brighten up your day
Liquor in your system
No it's done only in Tea Tasting rooms

Everything i say
Or do
Can look totally wrong in my peers eyes
So what is right for me?
You?
The question lies uncertain
As it is said that
Cupid comes to town
The day after tomorrow
To have a shoot-and-select
For the soul mates

But not for me
Not this year or this time
Maybe i have to wait a little longer..
Longer than you

*sigh*

Nervousness creeping in mah veins
I don't really let it bother me too much
Aching feet, pins and needles
Looking forward to be growing more intellect
and gain more knowledge, so as not to slack
Having the power is not important
Reliable comrades I need to depend on
A new scene, a new start
Competition is not mah game
Self tee-up is never the way to show you're better
Bragging about the best thing you've done
Leave it to others to praise you
Just be yourself, more humble infact
Trust your instincts
Don't be fooled by false pretense
In other words,
Be aware of your surroundings..
Cause as of right now..
I've got new shoes to fill
and Im on mah way to a HOME RUN..
((excuse mah french..SukeBlooorrr..))

There are times
when I want someone to look at me the way I look at him.
But then again,
who am I kidding...he doesn't even know my name.
As the eyes connect,
just at a glance and we try our hardest
to see who would look away first
But if he can show me
on how serious he is..even about the tiniest little thing
then perhaps, my perspective of him
would change.
After all,
the only barrier that keeps our gazes focused
is the smuged glass
between us both.....just him and me

My anime boy...