"It's going to rain for a while, but you'll make it"

~ memo taken from Howard Schultz ONWARD book

I can't imagine how he went through with all the troubles and tribulations in his coming back as a CEO of the most profound company, just like Starbucks. Also with history coming to life when Prince William wed Kate Middleton just a few hours ago, saying goodbye to the normal life and taking the role of the Duchess of Cambridge. Its amazing and its great that I got to live through this, in order to experience it all. Whether it's through a book or through telly.

As of right now, my store is currently facing the worst time - with partners doing as they wish, my management team not on solid ground and the most obvious part is, there is no stability in this district. We're all on a loose end.

How much I would sigh and moan to all the things that may occur, has not or did not go the way as planned. Just at the point of wanting to quit and run, seemed like it was not my destiny to do so. Everyone is going ahead of me, and I am slightly standing on a limbo part, dangling from my fingertips. Do I want to move on??

So many good things and NOT so good things are falling into place, right here in this company I've been working in for the past 4 & half years. It gives one the excitement and the anxiety all at the same time, making one feel to come up with a very good decision this time around. I haven't been praying all that hard for a new job nor am I looking to improvement in the store. Is that bad that I haven't set my priorities straight?? Gawsh! Its ghastly than I thought. All this talk about putting the stick away is making me decorate more of my lungs more often, almost a box a day. THAT IS BAD!!! Nasty habit yet its repeatable!! Darn the sticks!!

If I can get rid of all the bad apples in store, would it all be perfect?? Perhaps it would be.

A sense of peace may flow from all nerves and give some oxygen to the brain cells. If only they could disappear, then the other lives would be spared. *sigh*

If how Howard Schultz left the company for a short period of time and gained his passion back in the business, then it is really okay to tender this resignation to further improve oneself's self esteem. Until then, I'm half way reading his book, in order to gain this passion back, not for you, but for myself.

The moment I touched your hands, everything turned cold and meaningless. You laid so still as if you were in a deep sleep. Although the tears poured down like rain from faces of love ones, nothing could be done. You left with such willingness, and the pain immediately stopped just as how rain would. Like a blink of an eye, the guilt built up deep in this weary heart. To be strong for others, to have lost all hope of not seeing you today, tomorrow, not even till I'm married, made me feel so much sorrow. The older you got, the less I came to visit. Crushed to see you not breathing, confused for the others not able to see you before you took your last breath. It all seems endless, with everyone wished to spent more time with you, to eat, laugh and pray with you. How many regretted not saying the words that they meant to say, that they were sorry for anything that was said, done and forgotten. The birthday parties, Christmas loving, harvest festival will not be the same without you there to welcome us with open arms. The small shop will be meaningless without you there, sitting on your lazy chair and watching your favourite dramas on tv. Things would not be the same for us...It would not be same for me....who very much enjoys your company. I mish you and as we are praying for your safety to paradise, that you display the same kindness on us all too....thank you for all the sweet memories and the treasured time you had spent with us, and most of all...with me. Love your grandaughter.

I did not cry much the day she passed away
Always thought that I could buy myself time to see her when I was not busy
Even then I did not grew close to her
And to regret it would be useless
I used to think that her world revolves around me
That I was her favourite grandchild
Needless to say that I was winning a losing battle
To compete with countless cousins that were born
Earlier and ending up much cuter than me
I was always in the back seat
Not really caring in the world that I was "one" of the grandchildren
Who's grandma had loads of children to cuddle & hug with
There was a time I wrote letters to her
It was pleasant and sweet
Just like I had a pen pal to write to,
Every now and then
Was it I who grew up too fast to find new friends,
To forget such a caring woman such as herself?
The letters stopped coming and going
Our lives went a little too much forward
For now that I weep with my family members
To have lost a wonderful person such as my grandmother
Perhaps it would never be okay
To see a grown man cry
Or a young girl to cry her eyes out
For the sister, wife, mother, cousin, grandma, great grandma
Who wishes to be remembered
Like the way she was alive and healthy
The thought of God bringing her to a safer place
A place where one would call it their paradise
Is finally coming to a close
As the prayers and days are almost up
for crucial parts towards the passing
These are the times that in every heart of every person
There is a sense of loss
Yet the need to grow happier for
the wonderful woman that Grandma
Has always been and
Forever shall be....

I mish you so much even if my actions don't show it....

Rest In Peace, Grandma...

...you won't be forgotten