I really couldn't wait to get out of my own country and actually welcome peninsular as my escape from the reality world. To be away from the hectic schedule, away from people that I spend 24/7 with, to be away entirely from the headache and heartache that has been eating me up slowly for the past 3 years. Yes, finally I could get away and breathe little by little intake of oxygen and just be on HOLS with the fams. Brader couldn't make it with us this trip and that's okay. Actually, missed the flight by ONE freaking day, due to sistah's hiccup and busy schedule. A loss on RM502 just madly and desperately wanting to escape this place, even if it were just for 5 days. The thing is, it will appear that I do not want to continue on this journey of self- discovery because after all, it came to a conclusion that this is not the kind of life that I want to look up to for the rest of my life. "Spark" has been doing most my work load and I am grateful for that. "Deah" couldn't care less on the things that are vital just because I have a shitless attitude at the mo. I mean seriously, Spark has been the person who understands me and has been my mental support, to the extend that he's doing all for me...in order that I do not leave this forsaken company!! I got all teary-eyed just trying to console him while I'm here on vacation with my fams...but at the same time, I just want this nonscensical lifestyle to be OVER!! I mean, how can you as a person try to maintain all your partners to stay on, and yet the workload is unbearable that the GOOD ones want to leave? I'm not saying me for say. I'm saying that the system is getting way on top of one's head that one does not progress the way that she should be progressing! Its' insane to know that every little thing is been recorded and with the freaking variance countable for, makes the anxiety attacks more frequent than ever. It is something that one finally realizes that as one progresses further up in the company, it is no longer praise worthy of, rather the efforts done are all in vain, which includes trying to keep up with the freaking time frame and at the same time to allow another deadline to overcome the mind, which is equal to a person's mental state! This job is for the obsessed, the "Gung-Ho" people and for those who see this as a dead end to life's financial freedom. If a re-shufflement is to be made within this period, I welcome it very much but I will wash my hands clean to move on. The people that comes to mind will leave me at ease and soon, I will start over to the next chapter in life.




FIN..