i fear that i may be losing myself in this
its coming to me slowly
its like a disease i can't get rid of
the sign of depression is creeping on me

losing myself and thinking subconsciously
leads me to more anxiety
and the feeling wells up in my chest
honestly i am quite edgy these days

i want out of this mess
wanting to get out so badly for the past 4 years
its slowly eating me inside
to the point that suicide is the only option

but there it is
i will not cross that line
no matter how tempting it is
thinking about it alone can make one
delusional & contented somehow

this is all that i have to say
that you'll forgive me for not giving you
a reason as to why i had to write this down at the last minute
but its better now than later