Didn't quite imagine it that life could leave you breathless and at the same time, wasting your lungs to something sinful. Its been a long ride, a real far off road to a place where I'm still trying to find myself and perhaps, still waiting for the others to be more supportive. There is no returning to the place where you once felt all that fun and cheery moments. It comes visible and until one is able to grasp hold of it and cherish it, then you know it will be somewhere embedded in your mind and soul. Standing on the edge is where you can see the whole scene clearly-- People ready to settle down, or pretty much worried that they "don't" and the clock is ticking quickly. Fear creeps in slowly to weaken the heart and mind. This is when most people would tremble not in the open, but rather in the room where the door is shut, the fan blowing, and the curtains swaying. The things that are planned out, we try and try to push forward the things we have yet to complete. Walking around aimlessly, hitting hard and then, dazzled for a moment just to gain back the strength to realize where the pain really was. Had real good talk with Pops this morning, and just chatting away bout how a job turn out to be a good choice, when others choose to leave. Pops said that each time he went to work back in the old days, it wasn't so much about working, but rather the excitement to look forward to be there and just be involved. Yes, that was and on some days still "is" how I feel towards my job. The good days and the crappy days but all is well when you're involved. *sigh* There is still more to this life that I want to see.... JAPAN 2017.....hahhahahha...Pops said it'll be the end of the world by 2012..hahha, the tragedy!!