The more a secret is hidden, the more suffering one has to bear. I have experienced it all at once today. I even opened up to him, which is very rare...or you can say...almost never. Somehow today, perhaps even without twitching, I said what I had to say, without thinking twice. And it felt good to let it all out...almost everything that was bothering me for the past two months or so. The support and the criticisim that one has to endure, the tight-lip that one has to sustain in order for the stupid tears not to flow from one's face. Ahh...the sense of relief, to let it all out today. Good motivation for that 4-5 hours, and even when the tiredness showed on his face, a sense of willingness allowed to appear naturally. Oh thank you for being such a caring mentor..."Arigato gozaimasu ne!" I don't know what's come over me. The lack of knowledge and the courage that I need to pursue to get "there" does seem like a long run...tired will I be halfway, to catch up with the rest of the pro(s). Its like a saying comes to mind, survive the worst in the beginning, then it'll come as easy as a pie in the end. Hmm...you'll be wondering,"Is that even a saying? Where have I heard it?"



FIN ("o)