I guess the dumbest thing
I ever did and
I hope I will never
ever do
is to meet a person such as yourself
The most untrustworthy fink
that I've always seen
which others
fall for
and after it all
I ended up
falling for a jerk, such as yourself
Perhaps the sweet talk
did work after all
It was lame at most times
and yet I just wanted you
not to love you
it was more for companionship
You know the type when old couples grow old
and not have intimacy, but rather
the comfort of each other rather
I never did, I'm afraid
I never did love
someone such as yourself
It was just plain stupid which ended up
pretty simple really
and I was glad that I got to get out
and not to be waiting in vain
for a ridiculous fool such as yourself
Back as to why there wasn't any
love in that connection?
A bastard as one could see
you weren't different
from your brother
after all
you are like twins
just from a different time line
Annoyed as I was
I could finally breathe
Being solo for such a long time
made me realize
I haven't reached my
destination yet
I knew that we would not survive
the distance
I was not weary
but rather bored to my bones
there wasn't anything exciting
about "us"
No Christmas presents
appeared,
just a very much delayed text
saying
"oh yeah! Cheers to you"

I've moved on
and now you're no longer
on my friend's list
I glad for me
.....finally!

Torn..

Twisted...

Tales to live by...

Words were so pleasing...

So sweet...

Too inviting...

Mind restless...

Anxiety reacts differently this time...

At loss once more...

Unbearable...

Stinging these eyes...

Swore it would affect so tragically...

And yet...

I lied to this innocent heart...

With such a convincing face...

And its trashed...

Tainted to the core...

Fallen to this foolish games...

Suffering...

Shivering....

Tears running...

Heavy is this bitter heart...

I can't stop but just scream it all out...

This pathetic look is wearing out...

Ashamed to look around...

Sad that it ended in such a way...

Like something stupid...

Happened......

.................................twice...

This winter has been a waste cause she is the one you are the one Each day is always the same I’m wondering why, I keep getting up Another gift from the maker when I love you like that I’m looking away Cause it’s hard not to say I Miss you I’m looking away in an effort to say I Miss you What could I do This friendship is just a fling comfort for cover when I love the most The feeling of you The colour on your face In delicate spring another gift from the maker when I love you like that I’m looking away Cause it’s hard not to say I Miss You I’m looking away in an effort to say I Miss You What Could I do Well you’ve had the chance to save me Well you’ve had the chance to save me over and over again well you’ve had the chance you’ve had the chance over and over again I’m looking away Cause it’s hard not to say I Miss You what could I do I’m looking away Cause It’s hard not to say I Miss You what could I do I’m looking away in an effort to say I Miss you another gift from the maker when I love you like that I Miss You I Miss You

you can have it any other way

whether it is to live in a confusing life

to be happy with different people

living comfortably with love ones

or just wishing all the negativity to disappear all together

you can have it any other way

whether to run for the hills

to scream out loud till your lungs burst

living in anxiety and tears

or just wishing all that was in the past to repeat itself

gracefully

you can have it any other way.....*

Anya Marina ~ Satellite Heart

So pretty, so smart

Such a waste of a young heart!

What a pity, what a sham

What's the matter with you, man?

Don't you see it's wrong, can't you get it right?

Out of mind and outta sight

Call on all your girls, don't forget the boys

Put a lid on all that noise!

I'm a satellite heart

Lost in the dark

I'm spun out so far

You stop, I start

But I'll be true to you

I hear you're living out of state, running in a whole new scene

You know I haven't slept in weeks, you're the only thing I see

I'm a satellite heart

Lost in the dark

I'm spun out so far

You stop, I start

But I'll be true to you

I'm a satellite heart

Lost in the dark

I'm spun out so far

You stop I start

But I'll be true to you no matter what you do

Yeah I'll be true to you

physically drained out from all the bickering
the anguish in people's mind
and most of all,
the consistency of the life
that I'm living in

believe me
when I say that it is
and will forever will be
the people that I've met throughout
these 4 and a half years that has kept me going
with this "almost-perfect-on-the-surface" job
it is just to bad that
I couldn't be their reason to stay
long and perhaps rot with me in this
crazy passion for coffee and its
darn history

of all the things
that I've experienced today
and the past few weeks, months and days
everything has been falling apart

friends come and go
like the breeze that chooses to come
only through it's bidding
mostly friends who are forced
to choose their own destiny
and find themselves some freedom
at last, the lucky buggers

the heartache
to where he must go
and I cannot follow, and sulking
by my own person just to feel sane enough
to live through another day of agony
and more heartache

i want to feel
hopeful and faithful
but yet, i feel more slut-tatious
and end up being a bad person
Go figure!!

*Sigh*
Here we are, going about our daily lives...and to what extend?
Holding on to the memory we thought was lost?
Though so close, yet we're drifting apart...even more.
So I think to myself, "How long must I be put on hold?"
I can't stand it that when I'm out of sight, out of mind,
You'd rather have me hang around and not give me hope.
So I really must move on because
I'm tired of waiting in vain.
It's as if my heart will not rest unless
I'm given a valid answer of what I am to you.
We're grown up and we have to start to think less like a child,
and have a glimpse of the reality before us.
Cause if the pieces don't fit anymore, then
what we are to do but just remain....
as friends.

Enough said...