*Sigh*
Here we are, going about our daily lives...and to what extend?
Holding on to the memory we thought was lost?
Though so close, yet we're drifting apart...even more.
So I think to myself, "How long must I be put on hold?"
I can't stand it that when I'm out of sight, out of mind,
You'd rather have me hang around and not give me hope.
So I really must move on because
I'm tired of waiting in vain.
It's as if my heart will not rest unless
I'm given a valid answer of what I am to you.
We're grown up and we have to start to think less like a child,
and have a glimpse of the reality before us.
Cause if the pieces don't fit anymore, then
what we are to do but just remain....
as friends.

Enough said...

The most sweetest and generous person I've come across
this time around..is so far away from me.
Its his smile that makes me feel at ease...the way his
dimples just appear, especially when he laughs
from the heart.
Though blistered and in pain...I find comfort in him.
He offers protection, and lets me hold on for
support if I'm frail.
He's charming to me...even in other people's eyes,
I know he cares for others.
Kind hearted soul...Shakes his head when he talks.
Grins at something like those "transformers"
we saw at the side of the road.
Widens his eyes when he sees something exciting..
yet he doesn't want to close his eyes
when I'm there.
Smoothest dancer I've ever seen...it kills me that
he's soOo sizzling hot on the dance floor.
One last night to take a breather...
looking at the place below us..
we had to depart to go back to reality.
He gave me the pin he won...
and I will mish everything we've gone thru..
Round the town, in my new white heels..
I will never forget..
For we were strangers....
and are now are in question.....


we are one....just one for that sweet memory.

I mish you...

Its in the air, definitely...whether we can embrace it or just can't live without it..surely we would want it badly one day. Its the universal need that everyone is searching for. Even if you're still a toddler wanting to be cuddled, a teen just having infatuations, an adult who is searching for the right one to be with...it comes in all forms.

Perhaps one would regard it to having the wildest night of your life, while others look at it as satisfaction. Some lonely heart would see it as the only way out and become desperate for its touch..the feeling of it to be inside them. They are not to be mocked at because it's a free world...you're entitled to live the life as you see fit, no questions about that.

Whether we end up being who we are and have the things we want...I am certain it will go well as according to plan. There's no need to complicate things...this is our time, so don't fret where we might end up. Its true I can't see myself not being your friend even if we're not together. How you want it, is your decision...its your free will.

And I can finally say...I'm not searching anymore...I found him...

So.....we get scared once in a while; whether its about getting you're 1st milk tooth out or praying you won't be caught sneaking out of the house. Im scared perhaps that the fact that he may love me because he has a deep long lost feeling for me over the years...and to think Im feeling the same way too. So are we scared that it will not work out or is it a rebound because we're lonely? I need assistance on this....maybe...we were just afraid to admit that we 'do' have the chemistry and we just let it hang in mid air to see whether it'll hit us squarely on the head *sigh*

Growing up and growing out of those teen years can sometyms wear you down...cause you tend to get confused on whether you should be a kid again or grown up. Being back here in Kk, has made me mature and the lyfe style can sometyms tire you out. Tho, its Great to experience different things and meet loads of different people...i guess i tend to lean back to the memories when i was way high..as in CareFree...hehe...not the suicidal bit ;p

What im trying to say is...if we're meant to be; then....go with flow...like you said...there's nuthin to lose...and i believe that's true! *hugs*

A Lyfe at a New place~ New post~Hell Lot of Catching up to do...im nearly calling it QUITS!

I really can't describe how pissed off i am bout the whole ordeal of my work lyfe.
It's like i try and try my best to show that im finally capable of goin thru the day without any trouble and i got and earful from the management because i didn't do something today. I have to find out on my own that i had to go to bank but i had no hints or guidance that i had to go...sheeshkebab!! Its lyke...F***....im trying to do my best....come on! Give me a break!!

I really wanted this post as a shift supervisor so badly that even GOD knows how i feel but the thing is....but whether i can handle it for the rest of my lyfe? ..im gona go insane :'( It's so tough..trying to please everybody...and also perhaps saving their butt...in other words..im almost to the point of depression. I havent had a decent meal in 3 days and i know i wont for the whole month :'(

I don't want to question God bout this cause i asked for this post but the maze that i have to get out on my own is driving me in circles..its lyk im losing hope of ever getting out of this depression thing...small matter you say? Its not at all small...im just wondering whether i can get thru this....or end up calling it quits before i even reach my goal...

Im so tired....falling into the job...find it easier to fall out...insane idea,huh?
Tell me about it (-.-) zZzZz...

Hey everyone...i know i haven't jotted anything down here in the last few months but i have been awfully busy with the Lyfe here back in my home town,sabah. Luf lyfe has come and gone in a snap and thank goodness i got over it quite fast (erm...is 3 mths gud enuf? hehe)

Currently in StarBucks, workin as a barista..jz a few dys ago i went fer my shift supervisor intervw with my DM..and seriously peeps...it didnt even feel lyk it was an intervw...it was more of chitta-chatter...so it was smooth sailing...if u wana call it lah :)

Gosh! im exhausted as of now coz i just got back from work and i need da' rest fer 2mro...new promotions goin on 2mro, so yah...u'll understand, ryte? hehe

*hugs* BoOoYaAaaa................. (-o-) zZzZz

Gosh! Its almost christmas and im dead broke..haha. *SIGH* Somehow i always end up being extra tired after a day's work. But then again im the krazi cat...still goin to the my store (as in..my workplace) even on my off day..jz to chill and relax. Back in the days and memories where i could wake up jz a lil' late and still be in time for work...MAN! Those were the good ole' times *SIGH*

Nehoots...i kinda left the 'so-called' bf hanging because i don't know how to tell him that my feelings have been totally wiped out of my heart and brain. I don't even think bout him AT ALL!! How naive can one get? GOSH! Malas i nak layan dah...i guess i wasted those 3 damn years liking him and end up..only NOW he feels me...Sheessh! I don't get guys sometimes...they drive me nuts!! hehe...im just speakin in general.. ;p BLEH!

Speaking of 'some guys'...i think im losing it...as in..my heart to someone else.. BUT (pls note the big BUT) He's gonna be bonded w/ his long time gf...and it will very much hurt me so badly that im not sure i am allowed to look at him the same way. Hurting so much inside..im sure my heart will break :'( Help me God...im really into him...but i know i cannot intefere and try to break up the pair...it wouldn't be fair.

It sure ISN'T FAIR on my part...because when im with him...it becomes pretty weird just bringing up the subject bout him getting engaged! i try to joke about it when we're together but as the days go by each time...my heart gets heavier and i know one of these days i will soon break down and cry. Maybe this heart has so much feelings for him...im going insane...God hear me....i don't want him to go....Boohoohoo...sob...sob...sob.

To be continued..... :'(

By George....its been 2 months plus since ive

let all my luv ones knw how i am..

Guys...im doin oryt...so far (^_^)

As of now...im wrking in StarBux,Kk..

and..

it has been FUN and stressfull ever since.

Loving every minute whn wrkin here..

and gues wat?

i hve a coffee PASSPORT..

how KooL and Weird is dat at de same tym..

hehehe..

Anyhoots..i onli hve less than 10mins

to tell u ALL bout me lyfe here..

But most importantly....

i mish all of u soOoOo much..

*Hugs and kisses*

*sniffles,sniffles*

hehehe....

k then...got 2 go...

wif much luv...Bunzeraly (^_^)

You must be wondering on
"WHAT DE HELL IS YEN STILL DOIN HERE",huh?

Hehe...Vell...i had 2 wait till i got my salary and me testimonial letter
from me ex-boss but dat took a reli long tym.
its lyk i had 2 "ASK" 4 it instead of me bein "INFORMED" 2 get it frm de ofis..oh well..
To think u'd know sum ppl very well...just expect fer de worst..i was thinkin.

I thought i cud at least see her 4 de last tym
but it looks lyk she doesnt wan 2 hve 2 do anythin wif me...
wat can i say bout it?
Its just sad dat she cant face me lyk a REAL friend..
and tell me..."All de Best in evrythin u do!"

Then again,most ppl will not NORMALLY do dat..
Ur wrk will nver be appreciated...no matter whr u are
...as long as they see de BAD points in yer life.

Anyhoots....
Thks 2 all mah LURVE ones who hve been
soOo supportive of my well-being..
Cudn't hve gone thru de depression and pain
wifout u guys.
Thks so much fer cheering me up and
letting me swear so much..
dat ive 4gotten de meaning of a
BADass word...haha!

Just 2 let u knw...
im leaving fer Labuan 2mro
and hopefully arriving in K.K by Sunday..
Dats fer now....ill keep u peeps posted...
*BiG Hugs*

Peeps.....im leaving in about 3 long dys tym....

Wahhhhhh.....*sniffles*

Just now, b4 i closed de shutter 2 my werkplace..

i packed all my things i use 2 decorate de place with..

lyk Stuff toys (some i left behind),

my lotion,my artisty drawings..but

i left my radio..

im takin it "hopefully" 2mro (friday).

Im reli weli gonna MiSH everyone i knw..

But hey! Dont fret....ill be BACK..

..................

............

.....

..

`fer de HOLS!!

Just catch me if u can..heheh

All my LURVE 2 Frenz ive known since

WAY high, frenz i had encounters with,

whether good or bad,

and frenz ive known 4 onli a short tym..

(u peeps knw who u are)

i cherish all those percious moments

('*') *HUGS and KiSHes*

wif much over-flowing LUV,

Yenee Bunz @ eLmo

Guess what?
i hve 9 more days here in Brunei.
Estactic?
yea i guess i am..
Freaked out?
a little cz i dont knw wat 2 expect.
Lonely?
nah! Boboy is der w/ Mr.T so i think ill be fine.
Relatives?
echhh!
Leaving?
just b4 de 6th of October..myb earlier :'(
Mishing whom?
every human bean i know...WAhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Luv ones?
4gve me...i can onli stay awhile
Movies?
peeps...pls go and watch Tke de Lead & Stick it...Awesome dude!!
Got 2 go?
yea....need oxygen now...haha
Bye2?
4 now...yea..
Oh yea...Famish?
VERY.....my stomach's growling...hehe

So tyms hve changed....its been ages since i wrote in here.
Guess wat...?
There are alot of things that i stopped doing in this past few months.
Like i stopped....

• Going 4 violin lessons... (my last tcher went all uptight evrytym i went 4 klas ;p BLEH!!)
• Being in the band... (Aww...Mish singing, playing de percussions, drinking wine and other alky drinks w/ band mates, unloading instuments, being on stage and watching de audience havin de tym of their lives *sigh* )
• Lack of interest in my current job.... (all bout some paperwrk....AGRHHHH!!)
• Contacting my ex-boo... (Yea....hpefuly ive gotten over him....idiot!!)
• Going 4 church choir.... (ever since Aunt.Irene got forced 2 resign....but gues wat? She got re-elected but she's onli stayin 4 awhile..)
• Having kofi w/ Matet... (cz she's a married woman now...oh well! Tym 2 find a New close friend...hehe...jz kidding Mat ;p )

So here's de real deal.....im moving back 2 Sabah,my home town...and starting a New chapter in my lyfe....
Im reli reli gonna mish EveryBody.... Wahhhhhhhh!!! *sniffles* :'(

Are we over it when we go separate ways?
He's still calling me up but im so not bothered nowadays.
MEAN? Hell no!..not me....
Ive sensed sumthin bout him to be a two-timing ass
and maybe the reason why he needed de space.. TWO BLOODY tyms
is bcz he's already with naive gurl...
who doesnt knw that he onli wants 2 end up in bed with her.
Poor gurl...i hope she sees daylight soon...

Nehoots, im having a recital soon on MAY 29th.
Freakin me out but i hope i dnt let others down...
as in my group mates in dat one music piece..
i know its a classic piece but hell!
Tryin me best 2 cope up....not so good with
sight-reading..haha...

Wish i wez playin with de band mates
at the end of the mth...
but ill be flying 2 KL 4 a workshop and
annual dinner of Vital Years thingy.
And im so so gona mish Lease and Mike's engagement..
Hehe...she doesnt knw tho...soree Lease.

Well....to be continued....got 2 wrk nw...

Cheerios Peeps!

The colour of it can sometyms deceive your eyes.

In the morning, it shows a slight shade of blue....
one that you'd think its a sky colour.

Other tyms its just plain grey and all dull...
it burns brightly...a red light...thought it was orange
your eyes are focusing on the wrong parts.

Wind may carry off its colour to an ivory...
No...more like...plain cotton white substance
and intoxicate your love ones

It bloody sticks to you like glue...it sometyms stains
and gives you a bad smell.
Some how you're so used to the toxic air.....

What am i talkin about..?

Ciggie smoke...

Try lookin at it in another light
maybe you'll have all the luck...

or another

crazy idea of its next colour...

Regardless of whether u love him or hate him,

wish he would die or know that u would die without him

....it matters not.

Because once he comes into ur life,

whatever he is to the world,

he becomes Everything to u.

When u look him in the eye,

travelling to the depths of his soul,

and u say a million things without a trace of sound,

u know that ur life is inevitably consumed

within the rhythmic beatings of his heart.

You love him for a million reasons.

It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.

A feeling.

Only felt.

im in lurvveeeeee.....








With









JaSon









JaSon Mraz.....







Muahhhhhahahahahahha....







fool!